Divorce is a scary thing

Never in my entire almost 5 years of being with my husband did I ever think we would be getting a divorce. But then again I never expected for him to find comfort in another girl. Mainly a child who wasn’t even old enough to drink from Wisconsin.
To throw away your wife who took care of you and your son the best she could. For a girl hundred of miles away. That hurts pretty bad. Even worse flying her down only two weeks if when we actually separated. Its been over 70 days now and the paperwork filed. I’d be lying if i said I still didn’t hurt and lay awake at night and wonder what it is that she had that I didn’t. But I know that it wasnt really me that was the problem. I fought hard for my marriage. He gave up too soon and too easily.

Does this thing really work? ItWorks Cleanse System

  Some of you know that I did take part of the week long ItWorks system cleanse. This included:

  • ItWorks Ultimate body applicator
  • Thermofit
  • Defining gel
  • Cleanse
  • Greens

“A typical person has about 10 pounds of waste in their system! Using this brand new cleanse product can help eliminate that extra weight!*****

*****results may vary”

I decided to put this to the test for a full week. This week I ate healthy, kept between my calorie count, did my wraps, drank so much water I was about to explode, used my defining gel, and took my thermo fits everyday, you get the point. I have been wanting to lose a few pounds since I got my implant. My goal weight is 120lbs. Before this cleanse I was 139lbs. 

First I want to review everything as a stand alone:

CLEANSE: 

Taste wise it was good. It reminded me of a mixture of berries! It wasn’t until the 2nd day of it I realized it reminded me of taking a big 5 hour energy shot, without the energy. And then realized how it burned my throat drinking it. I also got a slight headache after drinking one.    This product was simple, which I enjoyed because it was only two days, 4 bottles, one in the morning and one at night. I decided to start on Saturday while I was at work because I was told it was “WHITE PANTS APPROVED!” Which was true. But not in the way I was expecting. TMI WARNING:    I did not use the restroom, like really use it too this day.  A week later and my body is not what it was before this cleanse. 

ULTIMATE BODY WRAPS:

I wanted these to work so bad. But they just don’t. Not for me. I took before and after pictures and nothing. I love the way they feel on, it’s a slight burning sensation but I always felt that was a sign it was working! I would leave mine on for an hour, drink my water, and do another 72 hours later. But I have received no results. 

DEFINING GEL:

   This really is liquid gold. And I say this because this is what closed up my ears as fast as they did. I used this after taking my plugs out (over 1/2inch) I’ve used this on my face as well for my acne and I did notice a slight difference in it! I used this during my system cleanse on my stomach and arms, and saw no results. 

GREENS ON THE GO:

These just taste awful, I’m sorry. I could only drink it with high pulp orange juice. I decided to skip out on these in the morning and drink my Herbalife shakes instead. 

THERMOFIT: 

Not much to say about this product alone, they smell awful and I down then as quick as I can because the after taste on my tongue was gross. 
Now, the system all together..

     I was not expecting to lose 10 pounds in just a week. But I expected to lose maybe a pound or so more! So I was diligent, I drank so much water I was in the bathroom 24/7! Which is required for basically every ItWorks product. I wanted this to work for me so bad.. But the sad truth is it did not work. My weight did not change, I did not tone up.. I am exactly the same as before except I can’t use the restroom still. 

I am not saying this product is a scam or that it sucks. It just didn’t work for ME. I’ve known a few people who this has worked on. Maybe I didn’t do it correctly, or maybe I’m just one of those unlucky people who is destined for fatness. 

2015 – worst year yet. 

      

  
 Alright, maybe the title is a little over dramatic. But honestly, 2015 was not a year I ever want to relive.      Of course we had some good moments, we celebrated Bryce’s 4th birthday, celebrated our first anniversary, had a great t-ball month, and of course holidays and family. But if I had the option to relive this year or chop off my hands, I’d chop those suckers off. 

     2015 was the year of stress. Of heartache. Of many lows for my family. We spent pretty much the entire year engulfed in anxiety over a court battle. It turned out well in our favor because we did get more time with Bryce, and that’s all we ever wanted. Just the process of not knowing and the uncertainty of what could happen is enough to drive anybody crazy! 

     But I will tell you what good 2015 did bring us. It brought us a stronger marriage, it brought us closer and made us better for each other. It brought us the realization of who our true friends were, and a deeper meaning of family. Love and support. It’s made me more forgiving and stronger in my faith in God. 

     2016, I hope that you are good to us. I hope that we can move forward as a family and continue to grow. This is a big year of change for us as well. In the next few months I will be transitioning into my new job with New York Life, all while moving. I just hope we can keep our sanity!

     And to end this year off, I will be starting my new year off with a few resolutions. Yeah, cliche I know! 

  • I will do my best, and I will strive for greatness in my new job at NYL.
  • I will be a better wife and step mother.
  • I will live a healthier lifestyle. Complete with diet and exercise. I will get back to my goal weight of 118. 
  • I will continue to grow in my faith and continue to be forgiving. 
  • I will be a better coparent.
  • I will enjoy life more, and spend more personal time with my husband doing things we both love, and trying new things together.
  • I will own 20857 more pugs. 

That’s what I am hoping to accomplish. And I’m pretty excited to be ending this year quick!
And for those of you wondering, no. We will not be having any babies in 2016 so don’t ask. 👍🏻😂

  

Oh! The Places You’ll Go! 

  
     Have you read this book? Truly read it? I finally did, after years and years. About a month ago actually. When I was searching for books to read to Bryce one night at his Nanas house I stumbled across this book and grabbed it. As we began to read it, I started to take in the words and realize just how great of a message this book was giving. Dr. Seuss has really outdone himself.

“You won’t lag behind, because you’ll have the speed. 

You’ll pass the whole gang and you’ll soon take the lead.

Wherever you fly, you’ll be best of the best.

Wherever you go, you will top all the rest.

Except when you don’t.

Because, sometimes, you won’t.”

This book is one that gently explains that, yes, you can fly to high heights and succeed. However, sometimes it may not happen. You may fail, you may fall into a slump, but it’s okay! Because even though times get hard things can get better eventually. Because YOU’RE better.

  
     This book is full of wonderful quotes, that I as an adult wish I had known about when I was growing up. But now I have the opportunity to share this with my son Bryce. Every night he is home his dad and I read him this book. He listens to each word intensely and I can only hope that maybe this will sink in so when he gets older he can turn back to these pages and know that everything will be okay. 

    This past Sunday we read this book, once with me and once with dad. After we finished Bryce turned to me and asked, “Is this your favorite book?” I told him it was. He hugged the book tightly as he laid down. “This my favorite book too now, mom.” My heart was so full of love at that moment. 

     Today I am going to go get a few copies of this book at a local book store and I will be starting a 14 year project for him. Now that he has started school I plan to, each year, write to him. And on graduation I will give him this book full of love from his dad, nana, pa, pawpaw, Mimi, etc., and I. That he can keep forever, and open it when he needs to be reminded that he is loved, and that when he is alone, scared, having a hard time finding which path to go down, that we are there. And he’s too good to go down any not-so-good street. 

  

  

Feminist and family court – men are not PRIVILAGED. 

Yesterday I had commented on a video about feminism. This particular video like many I’ve seen before showed young girls, a tiny bit older then my son Bryce, yelling at the top of their lungs curse words such as “fuck” and “ass” and thinking that by screaming such words would get their point across. It was so extremely distasteful. This is no way to get your point across for a cause you are fighting for.

One of the points they pointed out was “Stop telling girls how to ***** dress and teach boys how to NOT RAPE!!” This blew my mind. Honestly the whole video blew my mind. Just the sheer fact that somebody had taken the time to taint these young girls mind with grown up problems and allow this unacceptable behavior!     For one, girls are not the only ones to get raped. However nobody will believe that because as one commenter told me “men are privileged, men are taken care of.” So OBVIOUSLY nothing bad can ever happen to a man right?? Men don’t deserve safe houses, because they are privileged! They can’t get raped! Because how could a girl rape a guy? We’re too little and small and fragile! Yet, we scream for equal treatment? So how is it a girl can’t rape a man? But this isn’t what I’m writing my post about. 

Another thing this person had told me was (not word for word but the point is the exact same) “What do men have to suffer from that WOMEN haven’t been suffering from so much longer?” As if this was some type of pissing contest on genders. 

Well let me be the first to enlighten you all, just exactly what MEN suffer from that a women don’t even have to worry about. 

HAVING THE RIGHT TO BE A FATHER. 

     When a couple goes to court over a child or children… Who do you think the kids will end up with? The mom of course. That’s a no brainer! The mom ALWAYS gains full custody of the kids and the dad will be reduced to a paycheck and 4 days (if he’s lucky) a month to see his kids. Men have to fight and prove to a judge who knows nothing about them that he is a good dad, JUST TO SEE HIS KIDS. While a mother, just has to sit there and be just that, a mom, a female. 

Now does that seem fair? Does that seem like equality you feminist seek so bad? So before you go parade around your “MEN ARE PRIVILAGED!!!!!” Banners. Remember that no, they are not. 

I’ll probably get a big backlash on this from a ton of feminist. It’s cool. I actually asked the person commenting to me about how I didn’t understand feminism to please explain to me (because I am open minded, and the only feminist I’ve ever spoken to are die hard men haters and think girls are the superior then men) I asked her to explain to me the true bases of feminism and she did not reply. So I will keep my views of my personal experience with feminist because it’s all I’ve been ‘taught’ lol. 

June 2015 update.

     So I have not had a chance to write about our month went with Bryce! Like usual, it came a went quick.. Bryce had so much fun everyday. There was never a dull moment. Like I posted before he had t-ball this year and he enjoyed it for the most part! We will definitely be enrolling him again next year through LCAA.   We were really bummed on his last game he was able to play (he would be leaving after June was over and unable to finish the season) because it was rained out so we were unable to finish 😢 but next year will be better! His team is currently still playing so after the 16th hopefully we can get him his trophy! 

 

     At the beginning of the month we took Bryce to the Slaton Air Show where we got to see fast racing planes fly across the sky! It was hot and luckily we came prepared with umbrellas.. But Bryce had fun regardless! He got to see Dusty Crophopper and many other types of planes! 

  
     Another thing that June brought was Father’s Day. Which to me is a huge deal because since we requested June for Brandon’s visitation, meant he didn’t have to split Father’s Day. So we spent the morning in Seminole with Brandon’s parents and at noon we went to Texas Water Rampage! (sorry no pictures, we were too busy having fun!) Bryce was a bit nervous about the new pirates cove they added for the kids and cries when we went up on the ship. There was water coming from every direction and was a bit too overwhelming for him. So we took him out and to the old kid area where after some consoling he decided to go down the mini slide with momma. After that he was hooked and insisted that we go down the slide a billion more times.  After a while we took him to the wave pool area and swam around while the waves were inactive. I would pretend to be dead and Bryce would play lifeguard and grab me by my toes and drab me to shore where dad was. It was really fun! And when the waves did start back up Dad and I would hold him and jump into them. Bryce thought it was hilarious!

 

   We had so much fun like always and having Bryce home with us is always great. In the end of the month Bryce had told Dad and I that he wanted to be a police man when he grows up. Because he wants to ride motorcycles like his dad! He also told me one day when he was with me at my work that he wanted to work with me and sell shoes. 😂 I told him that that was a wonderful idea, but to always dream big big things! Bryce is extremely smart, he will do amazing things as he gets older. 

    June was a great month, we made hundreds of memories and we will cherish them always. 
4th of July

     We had Bryce again the following weekend after June and had him on the 4th of July! We had to change things up this year because Brandon’s dad was on call for work so he couldn’t attend the traditional Mackenzie Park Alvarado celebration! That morning we woke up early and met up with Mingo, Crystal, Meghan and the kids and drove to Mackenzie park for the parade. I personally have never witnessed the parade so this was a first for me! Bryce, Austin, Brooklyn, and Hayley had fun running out for candy and momma scored a few coupons in the process! (Woohoo!) we got to take photos and meet a storm trooper and iron man on one of the floats. We just flat out HAD FUN!! After the parade, dad, Bryce and I left and went home to grab some food, Moose the pug, and drinks and headed to Seminole! We met Brandon’s parents at the Gains County Park where Raul had set up a camp site.  We spent the entire day out there, took photos, let moose run around, jumped on the bounce houses, ate tons of food! It was nice. Bryce had his cousins to play with and towhee it came time for the fireworks they were wore out! Bryce was done, he had shut his eyes and covered his ears up from the noise and I ended up holding him and singing to him to block out some of the noise. 

   

  

  

  

  

 

I love my boys💕 

        

T-Ball love! #3

Well last night was Bryces official 1st t-ball game! His team is the Pirates through LCAA and we played against the White Sox. 

     I’ll start from the beginning, we enrolled Bryce back in March and have been excited ever since! We practiced on our own time until official practices started the beginning of June. The first 5 practices have been eventful, learning the bases and practicing hitting the ball is always fun to watch. Im glad that we have the youngest team, because it’s not that serious. It’s just a way for the kids to learn the ropes and have FUN, although most of the time they are sitting in the dirt pickin grass and kicking rocks, haha. 

     Well last night was the first real game, and the White Sox seemed to have quite a few older kids about 5. So it’s safe to say we “lost” but honestly it’s not a loss in our books because Bryce and his new friends all had fun. During the game Brandon and I had to stand on the side lines and remind Bryce to get off the floor and keep his eye on the ball though! What can you expect out of a bunch of 4 year old lol! 

     Bryce even ran a home run (kind of!) when it was his turn to bat he hit the ball and took off running! The older kid caught the ball and got him out before he reached 1st base but that didn’t stop him from RUNNING THE ENTIRE FIELD! He shuffle-ran *despite all our calling out to him to come back* to second and third and as he reached home the coach grabbed him and took him to the dugout. We were all so proud though!  That’s determination! 

     Bryce was happy, you could tell! Nana and TinTin came as well as his mom, step dad, brother, memaw, and cici came to watch him so you could tell he was happy that we were all able to come together and support our little man! 

    His next game is this Thursday, and he will be attending practice tonight at 6:30pm. So hopefully we can work on learning a little bit more with all the kids and maybe take home a win soon!
GO PIRATES! 

❤️#3

   
Dugout hangs! 

  

Running home!

 

Caught by the coach lol
 With love,  

Baby fever? 

I have wanted to talk about this subject for such a long time now it’s finally aggravated me enough to take time out of my day to type it up. 

     Ever since the dawn of Brandon and I’s relationship there has always been somebody to ask: “So when are yall planning on having a baby?” That was when we were only dating!!! So you can imagine just how worse it’s gotten now that we are married.    In today’s society pregnancy is so overwhelmingly abundant.  Whether married or not. But people automatically think that if you are married you HAVE to pop out a kid in the first year. (Absolutely nothing wrong with that!!!)  

     Look guys, I know I’m married. But can we please stop with the damn questions? No, we are not planning on having a baby right now. And I will even give you a list of reasons why, even though it’s none of your concern but I know you want to ask. 

Reason 1: I am 22. I applaud all men and ladies who choose to have kids right now or even earlier! However it is not for me and I still feel like I’m too young.

Reason 2: I work at the mall. DO NOT GET ME WRONG! I love my job, and I work hard, I make good money to take care of myself and my family. But I have bigger dreams, which would have to be altered if I were to get pregnant and have a baby right now. 

Reason 3: Bryce. We already have a child to take care of, and as were going to court, I don’t feel it’s fair to him or this make believe baby if I’m pregnant. 

Reason 4: court causes stress, why do you want me to be pregnant and stressed out all the time? Huh? No. Not fair or healthy to the make believe baby. 

Reason 5: I want to cherish my first few years of marriage with my husband and my step son. I want to go on trips, see things we’ve never seen before and done things we’ve never done! 

Reason 6: the idea of pregnancy scares me. YUPP. I’m terrified. Hopefully in a few years I’ll be mentally prepared. 
NOW, when I post a status saying I’m craving BBQ (because holy cow BBQ is amazing and we live in Texas) please don’t ask WHY ARE YOU CRAVING IT?? You preggers!?!?  If I’m sick, no it doesn’t automatically mean I have morning sickness! Or if my hands or feet are swollen, maybe it’s because I am on my feet all day? Maybe my hands swell when I’m cold? Weird I know. But it happens. 

When and if I become pregnant I WILL LET YOU ALL KNOW! I will post a huge ass chalkboard, I will take photos, I will post annoying statuss about my baby’s growth, I will tease you all with names we’ve picked out and I will host a gender reveal party with all the corny stuff and have a photoshoot with Brandon Bryce and I pulling a string on a box and have hundreds of little BLUE OR PINK papers that read;  “ITS A BOY/GIRL” “ARE YOU HAPPY YET EVERYBODY!?” “WERE PREGGERS”

Edit 6-4:

I got the implant today in my arm. Nexplanon. This implant is good for 3 years, so I ask that you all not ask me about when I’m planning for a baby. It’s 3 years. Maybe longer. 

So can you all lay off? You’re stressing me out. 

Here is a photo of the hulk because this is how I feel about this subject.  

  

Snow Adventures

So I’ve realized I’ve completely neglected my blog and making new entries. I have had many things to write about but finding the time to do so its near impossible lately. So today I’m going to type up a quick entry about Brandon and I’s first ski/snowboard trip together with my family.

For the past few months leading up to spring break I told Brandon that snowboarding was HARD… And as much as he wanted to he wouldn’t be a Shaun White on the slopes his first few trips on the mountain. But he insisted that I was wrong and was determined. (One of the qualities I love about him!) as the time drew closer to our vacation we both grew so extremely excited, I dreamt of skiing and being on top of the mountain for weeks! I was beyond ready for this very deserved, long overdue mini vacation.
This year it was my dad, brother, his friend Jacob, Brandon, and I. We left late around midnight and got to Taos, New Mexico at around 4:00am. The hotel didn’t let us check in just yet so we ended up sleeping in our car until some restaurants opened and we have breakfast. We wasted no time at all and headed straight to the slopes. Thank goodness I packed mini toothbrushes, mouth wash, contact solution, and of course my makeup (can’t look like a scrub all the time right?) haha. We got out 3 day lift tickets and our gear and headed to our great adventure.
Brandon, Thomas and Jacob went to the bunny slope for a while to show Brandon the ropes to snowboarding while dad and I headed to the top of the mountain.

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Dad and I getting ready to shred!

The mountain was empty, only a few other people were there but for the most part we didn’t have to worry about knocking kids over or having to maneuver around slow skiers and snowboarders. It was pure bliss. Dad is the best ski buddy. Ever year we go skiing he is always right by my side! We headed to the middle part of the mountain, typically you have to take a few lifts to get to the very top, skid a few blues and greens to get back in the groove of things and headed to the top. The weather was beyond amazing, it was gloomy and poured down snow a few times! God has blessed us with the perfect first day.

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It’s very hard to see, but there is a lift headed up that mountain in the back ground into the cloudy abyss. THAT is the highest peak. Kachina peak. Dad spotted it and knew that was a run we had never done before. We asked a ski instructor how to get over to the lift and he showed us on the map how. He warned us though, “That is a double black diamond, I would only recommend that to professionals.” After we left dad pulled me aside – “We can do it. Let’s do it. Now or never.”
I chose never. Haha!

Later once we got down from the top we found Brandon, ate lunch and relaxed before hitting the slopes again, this time we took Brandon to the top with us. Needless to say he hated us. He still wasn’t master of the board but he made it down the mountain pretty good! After skiing for just about 8 hours we headed to the hotel, lathered on a bucket of Icy Hot and went to eat. That was basically our entire trip.

The second day Brandon went off on his own to practice by himself. (He got insanely better! I was very happy.) this day was a little busier, but not bad. I could tell that my dad really wanted to hit up Kachina Peak, and I would have hated myself if I kept him from doing something he wanted. So after invisioning myself in a wheelchair at work and how hard it was going to be selling shoes with two broken legs I decided that we should go. Dad was mega excited and I was mega about to pee myself on the lift up to the scary abyss. Not going to lie. I almost rode the lift back down. But I put my big girl pants on and sucked it up. I looked down at the almost 90 degree drop with moguls all the way down, and said “Let’s do it.”
I said a small prayer for my dad and I that we make it down safely and he listened! No broken bones or concussions. Although I stumbled a few times I didn’t WIPE OUT! 😁

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I can officially say I slayed the double black diamond. Thanks dad for encouraging me!

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Later that day we met up with Brandon and hit the slopes a few more time before heading home. I was more than proud of myself and told everybody I had conquered the mountain!

On our last day dad and I forced Brandon to the top again and went down quite a few times, he had gotten snowboarding down to the basics and enjoyed himself. Even though he had a few bumps and bruises to show for it! He even told me “you were right, it’s not as easy as I thought.” Sweet, sweet, sweet victory haha.
On our free time off the mountain we of course did tourist things and searched the stores for little trinkets Bryce would enjoy when we got home. We ate A LOT, had ice-cream and whatnot. It was just a wonderful vacation away. Hopefully next time Bryce will be able to come with us, and we will get him on a snowboard just like dad! He already tells us how he wants to be just like him, and wears Brandon’s snowboard goggles around the house!

Well until next time,
Bye everybody! 😊

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Birthday Boy and the Barber.

As many of you know this past weekend was Bryce’s birthday! He turned 4 on January 30th which fell on a Friday that was our weekend visitation. Pretty exciting! We had gone to Seminole Thursday night for our weekly overnight visit, baked cupcakes for his daycare class, and watched movies all night. The following morning we woke up and wished out little man a happy birthday and took him to daycare and came back to Lubbock to work.
I’ve been stressing about his birthday party, asking myself ‘Do I have enough goodie bags?’ ‘How many kids and adults are coming?’ ‘when will I have time to make his cake?’ And ‘what if the reservation magically disappeared and his birthday party is ruined!?’ I was worried that his Big 4 party would shatter and crumble right before my eyes. Brandon was obviously much more laid back, encouraging me that it would be perfect no matter what. It’s easy to relax when you’re not an extreme perfectionist! 😝 Days before his party I did a test run on Bryce’s cake because I was working with homemade fondant. It turned out very well!

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I decided last minute that I was not going to do the fondant cake, it was too difficult and time consuming; and let’s face it… I didn’t want to put all the time and effort to recreating the exact cake AGAIN the day of. I’d rather not stress! Can’t be a Pinterest mom ALL THE TIME..
Friday when Bryce came home to us in Lubbock, Bryce, Nana, Pa, his cousin Geovanni and Delilah, Uncle Ray, Mimi, Pawpaw, dad and I all went out to The Main Event for bowling. The kids had a blast, we all did! Bryce thought he was hilarious and anytime dad or I went to take a bite of our nachos he would grab a ball and throw it down the lane during our turns! We had so much fun, I am so thankful for our families, we are surrounded by love and support always.
Saturday was Bryce’s party, and it rained all day! I ran errands that morning, getting supplies and balloons and made the cake. All while dad and Nana played with the boys who were fighting (not literally) about who’s turn it was to play Minecraft. Uncle ray brought by Chibbs his dog for the boys to play with and Nana and Dad went to go buy stuff for Brandon’s Barber exam Monday. It was a nice morning but boy was I exhausted, haha! We ate lunch, Pa came to our house and we just relaxed till Bryces party.
His party was a blast, all his cousins and friends came.. They played games and ate lots of cake and pizza! I sat back and finally relaxed. Party host could take over now my job was done. The fun seemed to fly by and soon it was over. We got home, opened some gifts and watched The Book of Life for another million times.
Brandon that night was sorting all of his stuff for his exam on Monday. I helped him label. He had finished his barber course a few months ago and after passing his written exam it was time to take his practical. Him and his friend Bnav traveled to Dallas Sunday morning to prepare for it on Monday. He was so nervous, and despite how much I tried encouraging him (He had it in the bag, he’s a wonderful barber!) he worried himself sick! He left early Sunday morning so I spend the day with Bryce until he had to go back to his Memaws.
Monday I texted Brandon most of the day and waited by the phone impatiently to hear of his results. And at 4:40 he called.
“Hey! How did you do!?”
“I didn’t pass.”
“Shut the heck up, yes you did.”
“Haha yes I did!”
We talked about how exciting this was for us, how proud I was of him. He told me it was because of Bryce and I that he was so motivated. I had no doubts he would pass, like I said before, he’s amazing.
My husband is an official Barber! 💕 I can’t wait to see I’m in action! Barberados isn’t just a dream anymore. Can’t wait to see what the rest of this year has to offer us!

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