As many of you know already about my grandpas passing February 22, I have finally gathered up the courage to write out my experiences with this event. On the day he passed my parents were already in Missouri with him, my mom had called me while I was getting ready for work. I answered the call expecting good news, even though I new the situation was not a good one- I expected god to preform another miracle like he did three years ago when we all prepared for my grandpa to pass.. However this was not the case. My mom with emotion in her voice informed me grandpa had passed that morning. Tears of course filled my eyes and I asked to talk to dad. My dad got on the phone and he asked me if I was okay. Me? ME? I thought right then as there, why am I the one looking for comfort when it is my mom and dad that need the most? I sucked up my tears best I could and told him I was ok. How was he doing?
I’m sure everyone can say that seeing or hearing your dad cry if probably one of the most awful heart wrenching things possible, and it was. He doesn’t talk long, we hang up the phone and I finish getting ready for work. Brandon who was asleep for most of the time woke up and asked what was wrong, we laid down for a while until I had to leave. That day was hard, but I didn’t cry much. Once at work, when a lady who’s last name was “Norman” showed me her ID and I went to the back and cried- a once at Runway when a lady offered me 10$ off instead of 5$ off my purchase. Funny how small things can make you burst into tears huh? She must have felt AWKWARDDDD.
I didn’t cry after that.
That Thursday the 27th I got the weekend off of work an made the trip to Missouri with my mom and dad. Thomas and Megan would come the following day. It was a normal trip it felt like! We were sharing stories, watching movies, laughing normally. It didn’t feel different at all. We made it to the hotel in Mountian View late and I joined my cousins in the room and fell asleep.
Morning came fast, so I got up early and did my hair and makeup. I saw my sister and the kids, Uncle Bruce who with the help of my dad flipped poor Amanda over in the bed like a sushi roll haha. It was nice to have the family back together even though it had to be for this reason. I never get to see my uncle Bruce and my cousins because they live so far away in Oregon. So it’s always fun when we get together.
After we all got ready we made our way to my grandmas, she was at the doctor because of a red spot on her leg and wasn’t there when I got there. But a few minutes passed and she was there walking in the door. I went right up to her and greeted her, she immediately went into tears as she hugged me, no words were said, we just stood there.
The day went on, and before the viewing at 5, the family decided to do something fun! So we all went to these old old old thrift stores, so many random things in one place it was overwhelming but fun!
It was a great time being with family.
5 came around and we all loaded up to go pay our respects. First grandma and the kids. Then us grand kids. I won’t write much about this because it gets way too hard but I’ll do my best.
I sat there in the waiting area as my dad and everybody walked into the viewing room, my sister was frantic, telling me she couldn’t go in. As much as I wanted to be there for her, I couldn’t help but block out her and everybody else around me. Now, I’ve never dealt with death much before, only have I gone to one viewing in my life when I was young. So I wasn’t sure what to expect… After uncle Jeff came out an said we could come in, nobody moved. I was one of the first to go in.
The first thing that hit me was the arrangements of flowers and plants, as I reached up further down the aisle my dad came to my side and we walked down together. I’ll skip the details. But I’ll say there were many tears. He looked great. Just the way I want to remember him, beautiful.
The slide show started, photos of grandpa filled each photo, one of the last ones was the photo of grandpa and me in my church, he was wearing overalls to keep him from getting wet in the water as he got ready to baptize me. What an honor. What a great honor was it to be brought into Christ by him. Anybody who knew my grandpa knew what a godly man he was. Grandma came to me and hugged me, she said “Grandpa talked about you and all the things you did for him, just know it meant a great deal to him.” The first time my grandpa was sick in 2011 we came and I took care of him, fed him ice chips, sat with him, rubbed his feet, watched the any Griffith show, and much more. To know that he really appreciated that makes me happy.
After hours of people coming in and out of the room we went home and relaxed. Saturday was the funeral and that was even more difficult then the day before. Like I said, I won’t go into much detail.
The service was great, hearing stories about grandpa was nice, but when it came time to close his casket is honestly when I lost it. The director took off his wedding ring and glasses and gave it to my grandma. Something about this seemed so final. My chest hurt and I cried. I cried and cried and cried. I took in my last look, touched his hand for the last time, and had to leave to the bathroom. We were directed to the grave site where my grandpa was honor for his time in the air force. And after that we left to the church and ate with family an friends. It was time to celebrate. Celebrate his life, he wouldn’t want us to continue to mourn. He was right where he always wanted to be, next to God and Jesus Christ himself.
I will always remember my grandpa as the great man he was, the man who loved fishing, golfing, an God. I’ll remember the little things, the theme song of the Any Griffith Show we watched, the beautiful shade of blue in his eyes when he looked at me, the dust bowl movie we all watched during my last visit, his voice when he sang songs of praise, his laugh and the way he squinted his eyes when he did. And I won’t forget the last words he spoke to me, even though they weren’t the ones I really wanted to hear, I heard the message he really meant.
Thank you all for the prayers and good thoughts for my family.