Friends & Foes

“I said I’d never let you go, and I never did
I said I’d never let you fall and I always meant it”
Have Faith in Me – A Day to Remember

Those lyrics use to have so much meaning to me over a year ago. My best friend at that time and I would always blast this and many other songs in the car together. We had been through a lot together and this song represented that no matter what, we would always be friends.

Dumb, right?

You have these “Friends” in your life that you think so highly of, that you trust, that you believe in your heart that they would NEVER betray you. However when it boils down to it, they are nothing but fake.
I use to surround myself with these people. I surrounded myself with poisonous girls who used me for money, as a taxi, because they were bored, other damaged girls who did nothing but pull me down with them, promiscuous girls, you name it. And I put up with it! I allowed myself to be around these people.
I take friendships seriously, which a lot of people don’t nowadays. But did I get that in return? Not with any of my past friendships. A lot of girls tried hooking up with family. Others tried stealing boyfriends or hooking up with recent exes. I had friends hanging out with people who hated me and wanted to destroy me and hurt me and would share all my secrets and insecurities with them. I had a friend that would constantly tell me to leave Brandon because I was “too young to be a step mom and didn’t need to deal with him and his son.” You know what I did to all these girls when I finally realized they were shitty friends? I booted them the fuck out of my life! And you know what? My life has never been better.
Without a ‘friend’ constantly telling me to leave my boyfriend and telling me all these ‘bad’ things about him- my relationship has gotten stronger. I had made room in my life for new friends who support me and my choices and accept my past without judgement.
I can honestly say I’ve never had a true friend in my life since I came to Lubbock. Except Brandon. Now, I’m not saying I am the perfect friend. In the beginning after high school I hurt friends.. And lost a couple because of that. But I quickly learned from my mistakes and corrected them- I learned what a real friend is and how they should act.
I don’t have many friends, maybe a small handful. But that’s all I need.
I wrote this entry to finally get this thought out of my mind that I’ve had for the past two days. & I must say I feel better! 🙂 I haven’t really thought back to the past and those girls I use to be friends with until one of their sisters paid me a visit at work the other day. Since that visit I just kinda thought “Wow, looking back on everything, I realize they made me stronger.” And they did! Those girls I use to be friends with taught me a lot about myself and what I do and do not want to be. What a true friend is and what a fake friend can be.
I wouldn’t go back and change anything about my past. Well…. Maybe I would go back a little and boot them out Of my life sooner but oh well. Haha.