Pumpkin Patch.

We had Bryce again this weekend, and it went by too fast like always. Wish we got more time, maybe even 50/50. Brandon loves son so much it always breaks my heart when I see him after we give Bryce back. It seems so unfair that a father as involved as Brandon is ordered that he can only see HIS SON every other weekend when he would love to see him everyday or just talk to him..
We got him Friday and as usual we all went to eat at Cici’s with Brandon’s family. We played a bunch of the arcade games and came home. Melissa and I went to Walmart and got some groceries and bought Bryce the movie Wreck it Ralph.
Saturday Bryce and I woke up early and I cooked him some eggs and got ready for work. Brandon had already left for his barber school stuff. This is the first time we had to find Bryce a babysitter, luckily my brother and his girlfriend (my friend) Megan came to the house and watched him till 2. When I got ready to leave my heart broke when Bryce started hysterically crying for me not to go. This is the first time since we had him in July he cried for his step mama. 😦 but once he calmed down and I left he sure did have a lot of fun with his aunt and uncle! Once I was off work, Brandon and Bryce swung by to get me and we went to Hobby Lobby and got a few things, a canvas and Bryce found an awesome vintage photo of Iron Man- his favorite super hero!
After HL we went to Double Dave and ate some pizza and decided to head to the Maize. We bundled up tight and rode the hayride to pumpkin hollow where there were 100+ carved pumpkins lit up with different faces and characters on them! It was a good day for us. After all that we came home an watched his Wreck it Ralph, the Little Mermaid, as Nightmare Before Christmas. Bryce went to bed a little early and Brandon and I had our movie night. I ended up getting really sick and spending most of the night in the bathroom and asleep. Thank goodness Brandon took such good care of me!
Sunday we ate and took Bryce to the pumpkin patch! He was a little grumpy because we woke him up from his nap in the car… He was excited about those baby pumpkins though!! We also did a cute halloween craft that involved his feet an hand prints. He couldn’t stop giggling when I painted his feet white! Big news! Bryce actually petaled his bike all by himself! He rode forever on his bike and didn’t need our help very much! He sure is gettin bigger by the day!

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The most beautiful shade of blue.

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Never thought that I would have to prepare myself twice to say goodbye.. Back when I was a senior I had to go to Missouri because my grandpa wasn’t doing well, and we didn’t expect him to make it. He had undergone a few surgeries and was put on dialysis and all he could really eat was ice chips and very soft foods because when he was in the hospital they placed a tube in his throat.
He decided he was don’t with dialysis, which meant he was ready to be with God. I took a week off from school and I spent every moment with him. I rubbed his feet, fed him ice, watched his favorite shows, did everything he asked me. I did more for him than his hospice nurse did!

Basically we were waiting for him to pass away..

After a week of missed school we had to go back, we expected to return in a few days for a funeral. Saying goodbye- was the hardest thing I ever did. I expected this to be my last time seeing him an hear his voice. How do you cope with something like this? What do you say to this man who you are so close to? How can I even describe this pain to you unless you yourself have been in my position..? It’s heartbreaking. What’s worse is seeing your dad cry, I’ve only seen this once before. My face hurts just typing this.

Well, we never came to the funeral- because there wasn’t one. By some miracle, my grandpa started to improve! He decided the fight for life wasn’t over, he went back on dialysis and two years later here he was, improved and alive. I am so happy, I get to call him every once in a while and catch up. But not as often as I would like..

I found out two days ago he was put in the hospital Monday. He ha collapsed and was unresponsive. Apparently he had eaten a lot of strawberries (which are high in potassium, who knew) and potassium isn’t good for his heart. He was airlifted and revived at the hospital. But isn’t doing as well as before. My parents told me they would like to make a trip in November to see him, and said this might be the last time I see him.

What..? I already did this… I already went through this pain, how can I do it again? Now I’m just regretting all the Sundays I should have called, when I was ‘too busy’ or it was ‘too late’. I was selfish, scared of the thought every call would be my last. But now the reality has hit. I’m scared and I’m trying to be strong. I love my grandpa. I remember how hard my first goodbye was, I can only imagine how hard this one will be.

Can I just stop time? Just sit with him like I use to- eat our layered dessert and watch The Andy Griffith Show. He would always talk about God and church and praying. He loved to sing too… Also he has the most beautiful eyes, they remind me of the sky.

It’s hard to say goodbye to all of that.

Personal entry.

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I can’t explain how happy I am. I have a great job, a great family, a great boyfriend, a wonderful stepson, and amazing place of my own! I never thought I would be this stable in my life at such a young age. Shit, maybe I should just be a financial planner and work in insurance like my dad, I seem to be doing a great job planning our lives out day to day! And it’s amazing to think that everything’s just going to get better once 2014 gets here! That’s my year for sure. Brandon finishes Barber school, I’ll be starting my own schooling, we will begin an actual life together hopefully if all goes according to our plansπŸ’β€οΈπŸπŸ‚. We will actually start living the lives we want! Maybe in the next few years we will make our dreams of moving to San Antonio/Austin a reality. There I can start an apprenticeship for tattooing. The possibilities are endless for this 20 year old! All I know is I’m gonna be just fine. πŸ™‚

Job hunting for the clueless.

Okay, this has to be one of my worst pet peeves. Job applications and job interviews. This entry is strictly what you SHOULD and SHOULDN’T do when applying for a job. Which clearly many people don’t know how to do. So here are some of my very own tips on how to properly dress, ask, and approach a job situation.

Step ONE, after considering that it would be a good opportunity to get a job, make an actual day of going out and applying. Don’t just do it in a spur of the moment “OMG is that a now hiring sign? I MUST GO IN!” thing. Please take time to visit the store/restaurant/building and see what type of environment it is. Consider this:

-Would I enjoy shopping/eating here?
*chances are, you will be either wearing their clothes/eating this food for a while.
-Would I wear these clothes?
*Some stores require that you wear clothes that they carry in the store.
-Could I sell somebody on a certain item?
*retail jobs involve a lot of customer interaction and make commission. You need great people skills.
-Would I actually enjoy working in this place for a long period of time?
*hopefully you are in this for the long run, see if you would be happy in this environment.
-Do I work well with others?
*to have a better work experience you need to communicate and work well with others working around you.
-Am I a people person?
*every job you will ever have you will have to deal with people at one point
-What skills do I have that would help me out if I were to get this job?
*Do you have past experience in this field?
-What type or wardrobe are the employees wearing?
*this will let you know what you will have to wear if you get the job.

Step TWO, after setting a day for yourself to go get applications, clean yourself up. Take a shower, brush your hair, clean your nails, shave and or put on a tasteful amount of make-up.

Step THREE, pick out an appropriate outfit. Going back to step one you should have already visited this place and noticed the type of clothes the employees wear. If its a retail store, dress similar to the associates. If a restaurant in which they are wearing uniforms, nice dark jeans and a polo (men) or a simple plain dress shirt (Ladies) will do. If applying to a place where you dress in slacks/suits/etc, dress it up just a little more. Do NOT wear:

-Pajama pants
-Yoga pants
-Short shorts
-Tank tops
-Shirt with profanity
-Saggy pants
-Shirts that expose your boobs

Step FOUR, if able, print out a resume! People who turn in resumes come off more organized and professional.

Step FIVE, bring a folder or a binder with you. No place of employment wants to see you walk in with a handful of other stores applications. This shows that you are just looking for a job, ANY job you can get your hands on! You have no actual interest in bettering the company, but just getting  paycheck.

Step SIX, do not, and I repeat, DO NOT, go application hunting with your mother/father/friends/children/any family member. This is very unprofessional. Do not bring your parents with you, and do not allow them to speak for you. EXAMPLE: “My daughter needs a job and I need to know what hours you are hiring and what shes gonna get paid.” Nothing will get your application thrown in the back of the pile faster then this. Do not bring your children either. You will not get brownie points, sorry. Most places judge you on your resume, skills, and ability to work. Not if you have a cute kid.

Step SEVEN, be confident. Usually ask if a manager is working and if you may speak with them, this will leave a good impression and hopefully get them to remember you. Shake hands and introduce yourself. Ask of course if they are hiring, and if so, if they have physical applications or if you have to apply online. (Most places now a days do online applications, but it is always good to go in person so when you turn in your online application they will remember your name.) Thank them for their time and TAKE THE APPLICATION WITH YOU! Do not fill it out in their store! Do not ask how much you will get paid, what hours and days you will be working, and what kind of discount you will get. This will be discussed if you get the job.

Step EIGHT, give them about 4-5 days and call them to check up on your application.

 

Like I said these are a few of my own tips. Haha I’m done with my rant now.

Big boy weekend.

Firstly, I’d like to say our poor Bryce got hurt a few days ago while at daycare… Brandon and I decided to take our day off and go to Seminole and check out where he was being taken care of when he wasn’t with us. The place was cute, and we soon left after saying good bye! But not even an hour later when we were taking our nap Brandon got a phone call saying Bryce had jumped off the slide during playtime and hurt his leg. We rushed to the ER and were there for 3 hours! Bryce was crying for his dad and I sadly had to be in the waiting room since he was only allowed two visitors, his grandma and dad. I finally was able to sneak in and he was already asleep. Turns out he had a sprain and has to wear a splint for a while. But our little man is a trooper!
Friday we got Bryce early! Brandon’s mom brought him over around 5ish. He gets bigger every time I see him I swear! He walked into the house and Brandon told him to go look in the room because we had something for him! Bryce waddled in, got a huge smile on his face when he saw his new big boy bed. “Dada? Mine?” He did a little dance or a celebration I suppose and ran to it and laid his head down on his Cars pillow I had hand made him. He was absolutely excited about his new bed! First we got him out of his trainer cup (at our house at least) and now we got him out of our bed (of course we still love our night cuddles and everything and we will miss them!)! Bryce actually came home knowing a few new words even! Daycare has really made a difference. He knows how to say ‘Mine’ and ‘Thank you’. BIG mile stone if you ask me! We went to eat and spent time with Nana, Pa, Tintin and her fiance and just hung around the house for the rest of the night.
Saturday like always I work open to 5 at my store. But during that time Brandon had taken little one to get his hair cut! It looks so adorable. They relaxed and played games since Bryce can’t really go to the park and play because of his foot. Once I got home we took off to my parents house! Earlier that morning I was told my dog Alice had a litter of 10 puppies! (WOW!) and I wanted to see them as soon as possible. When we got there all Bryce wanted to do was pick up a puppy, but since they are only a few hours old he had to settle with just petting them. He was so stinkin cute. He pointed to Alice and said “Mom?” I told him he was right, that Alice was a mom now and that she loved her babies! I asked him if he wanted a puppy and he turned to dad and said “Please?” Dada told us no. Haha. One thing happened though that I want to share- I stood up from the couch and started walking away and Bryce called out to me, I said “I’m going to the bathroom Bryce!” He then placed his hand on his bottom and said “Mom…” very quietly. I picked him up and took him with me quick! He told me he needed to use the big boy potty with is the first he has ever done with us! Took off his pants and being at my parents house we didn’t have a kids toilet seat I sat him down and held him there on the seat. He started pushing and though he didn’t accomplish the actual potty, he did fart. Haha, but oh my goodness I was so excited I tried my hardest not to scream for Brandon! He didn’t poop but he knew!!!! We are so proud! Well around 9 o’clock and after raiding my parents movie selections and watermelon stash we left to come home and went to bed.
Sunday was the fun day we took pictures of Bryce and us, and went to our favorite Chinese food place like usual and wandered the mall, we even decorated our windows with some Halloween decorations! At around 4:30 Brandon’s dad picked up Bryce and took him home to Seminole (Which is usually my job, that is Bryce’s and I’s special time together in the car where we sing and talk. However it was better I sit this one out for personal reasons).
Weekends go by very fast, I can see the toll it takes on Brandon every time he has to say bye to his son. Its hard, and I know it. He is always a little off when Bryce leaves. Its because he loves him so much! But we can’t do anything about it. Bryce knows we love him and we do the best we can.

Toddler bed.

So today I went and purchased Bryce’s new big boy bed! It was exhausting and took Megan and I almost an hour to put it together! By the time Brandon got home we were a mess! He ended up having to fix all the damage we girls did and let’s just say it took him just as long! Those things are difficult! I sure hope he likes it, something tells me he’s not gonna wanna sleep alone though without dad!

I got a little sad putting it together, it’s exactly like my nephews bed was when he was Bryce’s age. Jaxon always wanted me to sleep with him in that tiny bed. Even though I had to pull my legs pretty much into my stomach and I was so uncomfortable.. I didn’t mind because I had my little man by my side! I miss him everyday, I especially miss him being so little. One night I had a laser pointer and we played with it on the wall for nearly an hour. Jaxon would grab for it on the wall and as he cupped his hands over it I shut it off. He would then look into his hand expecting to find the red dot (which I pointed into his little palms, to make it seem like he had it!) his giggles and excitement still lift my heart to this day!

I hope I see him soon, I miss him a bunch.. I wish I had this same connection with my niece Lillian, but with her living so far from us I find it hard to get the quality time I want. I don’t think we will be as close as Jax and I and that makes me a little upset. She’s a little ham though when I do get my time with her. She’s a little evil I have to say!! Plus the thinks she is way older then she really is! Only two teeth and stealing my frosted mini wheat cereal!? Suzie don’t think so! She likes to wear my bras too! She better slow her roll, ain’t nobody got time for that.

Late night post over, goodnight everyone:)

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Refuse to sink.

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Ain’t that the truth! No matter what happens I am going to continue to be the woman I am today. No matter how many times people attempt to knock me down, I will always rise above them with a smile on my face!
I thank God for all of the difficult people in my life, because they show me exactly who I NEVER want to become.
So thank you. I’ve been bullied a lot through my life, I can take it. I’ve learned that when people are trying to bring you down, that just means that you are above them and they are jealous of what you have.
Never think that you’re not good enough because you are, keep your chin up high!